All night long I slept restlessly. When I woke up My longboard was upstairs and My backpack was in my bed. Pretty sure I did some sleepwalking. As I climbed into the shower I sang some worship but just wasn't feeling God's joy in my life like last week. There's been a lot on my mind lately and It's beginning to take it's tole. Got to school later than ususal due to some confusion with the carpool clan. I didn't understand logic so I got a little glum at that fact. I was stoked when I finished logic and headed to my hour off in the library with Stevie, Levi and Tina. Stevie let me know via text that she hit a car today (She bought it yesterday) and so she wasn't in the greatest mood either. I was pressed for time to get my Government hw done so I wasn't talking to people much. I found myself getting annoyed with people easily and had to stop and pray for a second before I continue on. Patience is not one of my strongpoints. I asked one of our group members a question and they replied with a -SHHHHHHH...I put my books in my bag and left in frustration. As soon as I got out the door I stopped myself and asked- What's happening to me? It seems like the devil has a hold on my day and if I don't let God work in it, it will just keep going downhill- I realized that someone telling me to be quiet in a library is completely rational. And was I so blind as to not see the crummy day that individual was having as well? I went to class early to meet up with Zach. Turns out his gf broke up with him so he wasn't thrilled either haha. But I gave my presentation in government, came home with Hill, and went to work where I chose songs for tomorrow night. As I thought through songs one came to mind.
Desert Song
This is my prayer in the desert
when all that's within me feels dry
this is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory...He is near.
This spoke to me so heavily. No weapon formed against me shall remain when I take the "ME" out of the equation. When I fight days like this whether it be negativity, thoughts, frustrations, fears, longings, negativity, more frustrations, pride, and the other things I deal with each day, I must do it, For "I have been crucified with Christ: it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and game himeslf for me" Galatians 2:20.
He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.-Dueteronomy 32:10 (Moses' song)....God find me in this desert. Bring me your peace, love, and more than anything passion. I want you to help me want to love you more. Help me crucify myself with you. I want to die to my flesh, and live to your will. You alone are good.
God truly gives me purpose. When all else fails, He is still there. He is all that is steadfast and true. The only bedrock foundation in my life that is inshakable, irremovable, omnipotent, omnitient, always there, and always will be. This is why I worship You God.
Im happy to hear you saw him through this Jare. Never stop surrendering yourself over. Pursuing through the storms will lead to the prize. Strive for Victory, not in yourself, but in obedience to Christ. It's gonna be good.
ReplyDeleteThanks Case. It's been a day of ups and downs but it's looking up.
ReplyDeletei was just thinking of the desert song a couple of days ago with gabby and its been in my mind ever since. i had a bit of a shabby day too but this really helped thank you!
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